Deadpool the Maid
by Kittycatkyla
Summary: Deadpool is a maid. Contain's sexual theme and cross-dressing. Really short one-shot. -Deadpool wishes to tempt Wolverine-


Wolverine sighed as he walked through the hall of the college. He really hated substituting as a fricken teacher. He's better with the hands on work, ya know? Maybe if they had him substituting as a battle teacher or something. Even mechanics would have been better than _history_. That was something the Professor or Storm was good at, not Wolverine.

He growled as he sauntered down the hall, hands in his blue jeans, shoulders hunched. He really just wanted to lay down and growl his irritation away in the comfort and confinements of his room.

But upon opening the door to his dorm…

"Hello, Wolvie!"

Wolverine automatically pricked to that irritating voice. He opened his eyes. Then his gazed turned into a pissed-off blush.

"THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

"Eh?" Deadpool looked at Wolverine from the X-man's bed with one eyebrow cocked. He was in his complete black-and-red costume, his pistols still on his thighs and swords on his back. But there was one more kink to the outfit. "You said you wanted to see me."

"I DID NOT!"

Wolverine shut his door behind him when he glanced over his shoulder and saw young mutant students staring at him curiously. Then glared back at Deadpool. His annoyance for the man was what made him pissed-off that he was there. But what made him blush was the 'one more kink to his outfit'. Over his black-and-red outfit, he was wearing a maid outfit. Black-and-white frills laced his muscular biceps, the skirt reaching down barely to his middle thighs. He had a feather duster in one hand with black, cuffed gloves.

Wolverine was relieved that the crazy mercenary had on his signature costume underneath the skimpy outfit. He was disturbed enough as it was. Seeing hairy, naked man legs and biceps would have made him vomit.

"GET OUT!"

"But I came all this way to see you!"

"DON'T CARE!"

"_**I told you he wouldn't want us here." **_Deadpool's 'other voice' said in the crazy man's head.

'_**No, I'm certain he wants to see us. He's just embarrassed.' **_Deadpool responded.

"Come on, Wolvie. That's kind of mean when you made me come here to see you, dressed like this. Although, I can't complain. It's pretty comfy. Especially the panties! And you should have seen how many hot babe's checked me out on the way here—"

"I didn't MAKE you come here. Now GET OUT!"

"But don't you wanna play?!" Deadpool turned around so his back was to Wolverine and arched his spine so his ass was protruded to the X-man, then stood up on his knees and spread them wide, reaching his hands up the skirt while glancing over his shoulder at him. Wolverine's eyes narrowed with disgust at the maniacal man's attempt of being sexy, or cute, or whatever girly way he was trying to be.

Deadpool looked at Wolverine with a sly expression, and if he didn't have a mask over his face his tongue probably would have been licking his upper lip. His black fingers hooked around the thin waist straps of the white panties and he began pulling them down slowly.

"I came all the way here. We might as well play." Deadpool said, leaning forward as he pulled the underwear down to his knees, the dress hiding his already clothed ass.

"**GET OUT!**"

Wolverine slammed his door open, holding Deadpool by the back of his neck. His foot dug into the crazy man's bum as hard as he could kick—which probably broke Deadpool's hips and tailbone—and sent the man out the door. Deadpool slammed against the opposite wall, sitting with his legs in the air above his head.

Wolverine slammed the door shut.

"How dare you throw out a maiden who offers herself! What kind of man are you?! No wonder you're still a VIRGIN!" Deadpool screamed as he stood up, bunching his fists.

The X-man didn't open the door.

"Huh?" Deadpool looked at the door, confused again. Usually Wolverine would come out with his claws flashing

"_**I think he's ignoring us." **_

'_**Maybe I actually turned him on with my act and he doesn't want to see me anymore? I knew he was gay!'**_

"_**Who knows? I never see him with a chick anyway."**_

Deadpool stared at the door then huffed in a pout. "No fair. He kicked me out. And broke my tailbone too."

Deadpool pushed on his hips, cracking them back into place so he could regenerate properly.

"Welp, looks like it's time to go to Spider-man!"

"_**It'll probably end the same way."**_

'_**No, it won't. Spidey and I are bros.'**_

Deadpool heard a voice behind him. He glanced over his shoulder with a glare, spotting three teenagers and four preliminary kids that were staring at him with either curious or nervous looks.

Deadpool turned around and jumped at them with a "BOO!" then teleported in a flash of blue.

* * *

Spider-man sighed as he walked up to his apartment, backpack slung over his shoulder and camera around his neck. He was tired from a day of photographing himself to give to James Jonas Jameson. He got a good three-hundred dollars for the few photo's he gave to him, but it was still exhausting. He wanted to lie down and sleep his exhaustion away.

He opened the door, sighing heavily.

"Hello, Spidey!"

* * *

**I wrote this for my creative writing assignment. We had to write with humor and I was watching Pewdiepie play Deadpool and at the end when it gives you the option to go to the next video or previous video, the back picture was Deadpool in a maid outfit pulling down his panties so I tried to be funny. Don't think I did a good job. I shamefully ask for reviews.**

**Well, hope to see you again.**

**Kittycatkyla**


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